Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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