just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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