need another drink. this is the easiest way
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
