Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
