i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
do nipples grow back?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
