but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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