have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
