Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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