I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
