My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
