I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
