i was born a porn star she said
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I need moral support for this bender
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
