um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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