dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
