shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
