Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
