she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
