The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
