I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
