Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
