Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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