I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
