I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
