i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
