No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
