my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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