he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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