she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We got so high we made milksteak
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
