He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
