I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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