hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
ttyl tear gas
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
