i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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