Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
