I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
