508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
