You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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