I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
