Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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