areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
