she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
