you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
