another moral hangover. fuck.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
