can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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