What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
