Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
