Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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