weddingsv make me drug and hornr
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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