There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
