dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
