Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
