I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
